Should I tell her she can go?

I'm often asked this question. I once witnessed a situation where a loving spouse said, with great tenderness, "You can go. The reaction of the spouse at the end of life was one of such sadness, she thought at that moment that her spouse had had enough of seeing her like this.

Since then, I've been very careful about using this phrase. This very sad situation also got me thinking about the subject. Isn't telling a loved one that they can leave, that they can let go, like giving them permission? I've come to the idea that the intention in using this type of phrase is to reassure the dying person. So I now opt for the expression of an "I" message reassuring the other person. For example: "I'm fine, I'm going to get through this even if I'm in a lot of pain" or "Mom, you're going to die and it's like a part of me is dying. On the other hand, you can hear us, we're reminiscing about our childhood and youth. Mom, you'll always be alive in our memories. Thank you for everything you've passed on to us."

–

Suggested website: http://palli-science.com
Suggested reading: La mort intime by Marie de Hennezel, 2006

–