This month, my newsletter focuses once again on Alzheimer's disease and related dementias.

I read a very interesting article explaining the importance of never arguing. The author, Teepa Snow, uses the acronym BANGS. This quick and simple checklist can be very useful in everyday life, whether you're a caregiver, an institution's support staff or a member of the sufferer's family.

As I didn't feel I had the necessary skills, I asked Louise Simard, translator and psychologist, to translate the English acrostic. Here's a reminder, in the form of an acrostic, to help us remember that our brain is intact, but that the sick person's is severely damaged and unfortunately won't heal. This method can quickly put an end to a conflict that all too often leads to verbal and physical aggression.

R for Rhope
E for Évalue
A for Accept, be in Agreement with them, Go in "their" direction
L for Lâcher prise, Letting go of your ego
I for Importance of communicating, getting along, engaging with them
T for TAlways avoid arguing with them
E for Express our sorrow

Breathe Take 3 deep, slow breaths. This helps us to regain our composure, to remain patient and to remember that we're not the ones with the problem (Alzheimer's disease).

Evaluate What is the cause of this agitation? The person with dementia is communicating something to me here. There's been an accumulation of stressors and/or periods of boredom, she's hungry or thirsty, etc. The person with dementia is communicating something to me here.

Accept the other person's reality, because the situation is real for her. Being in tune with itNever try to argue or explain, because the disease means she's no longer able to analyze and understand explanations. Going their way means entering their reality. It's the only way to divert attention to another subject or point of interest.

Letting go Always remain focused on the person and not on the task we wanted to accomplish with them. Let go, because we don't have to be right: their reality is different from yours, and that's just the way it is.

The importance of communicationno matter how advanced the disease. The person always keeps something. We have to make do with what's left. Non-verbal language is understood even at a very advanced stage. Rhythm is also preserved. In a situation where the person is angry or agitated, place yourself physically lower than them. When you're physically at a lower level, you let them be right, you let them have power over events. It works!

Always avoid arguments. We have the possibility and the duty to change certain things. We don't have to be right, and we certainly don't have to convince them.

To say we're sorry. For example, when someone is convinced that their rosary has been stolen: "I'm sorry this happened to you. I can lend you mine.

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Mireille Guillemette inf.B.ed, president of Mire Formation Conseil inc. and clinical trainer.

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