Hope is, in part, this ability to live and be in the present moment and, at the same time, to believe that the future will be positive. How is it possible to believe in this positive future for someone at the end of life?
At the end of life, people must let go of what is most important in their lives. The fears experienced have many origins: fear of what's going to happen, of losing control, of what's going to happen to loved ones, of the unknown, that life has no meaning, and so on.
These losses and fears are often experienced alone.
As caregivers or companions, we have a duty to listen and facilitate the life story. Listening helps to give meaning, and makes it easier for the person at the end of life to let go.
Yes, hope is possible and gives meaning to what is happening. It's not about recovery or about the time that remains in terms of duration. Hope at the end of life is about something else: the hope that we won't suffer, that we'll die with dignity, that our loved ones won't forget us, that we'll retain some control over events, that our loved ones will have a bright future, and so on.
In addition to facilitating letting go, allowing and helping the person to transmit his or her memories is also a way of cultivating hope. Expressing to the other person that I will do everything in my power to control their symptoms, and that their choices and wishes will be respected, is another way of cultivating hope.
"It's in the other person's gaze that I see if I'm still lovable, it's in the way they talk to me, the way they take care of me that I sense if I'm still part of the world of the living."
Marie de Hennezel
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Mireille Guillemette inf.B.ed, president of Mire Formation Conseil inc. and clinical trainer.
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Suggested websites: http://palli-science.com, https://www.aqsp.org/bulletin/
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