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Hope is partly this ability to live and to be in the present moment, and at the same time to believe that the future will be positive. How is it possible to believe in this positive future for someone at the end of their life?
At the end of life, the person must get rid of what is most important in their life. The fears experienced have many origins: fear of what is going to happen, of losing control, of what is going to happen to their loved ones, of the unknown, that life has no meaning, etc.
These losses and fears are often experienced in isolation.
As caregivers or companions, we have the duty to listen and facilitate the narrative of life. This listening allows for meaning to be given and facilitates the letting go of the person at the end of life.
Yes, hope is possible and allows us to give meaning to what is happening. It is not about healing or the time left in terms of duration. Hope at the end of life is about something else: the hope of not suffering, of dying with dignity, that our loved ones will not forget us, that we will retain some control over events, that our loved ones will have a beautiful future, etc.
In addition to facilitating letting go and enabling and helping the person to share their memories, it is also a way of cultivating hope. Expressing to the other that I will do everything to control their symptoms and that their choices and wishes will be respected is another way of cultivating hope.
«It is in the other person’s eyes that I see if I am still kind; it is in the way he talks to me, in the way he cares for me, that I sense whether I am still part of the world of the living.»
Marie de Hennezel
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Mireille Guillemette, B.Ed., president of Mire Formation Conseil inc. and clinical trainer.
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Suggestions for websites: http://palli-science.com, https://www.aqsp.org/bulletin/
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